standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
