Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
