The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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