What did we do last night that was yellow?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
my being single is dangerous.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
