Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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