maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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