I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
