Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I skipped work to stalk him.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Randomize
