if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My first STD was from a foam party
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize