Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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