return my video game
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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