He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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