How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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