Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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