I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
