Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
