I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
