see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
