Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Panties = found
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