Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
