we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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