I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
