anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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