she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
