Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you didnt know i had herpes?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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