the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
3pm strippers are depressing
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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