Whod you bang
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
