i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize