Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
