***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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