For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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