Whatcha textin bout Willis?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize