There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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