He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
