I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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