oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
