Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She said her name was "party"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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