Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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