Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
