dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
