Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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