If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
