oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize