Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
