Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
