READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
