Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
