How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
