She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize