Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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