Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
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I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
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New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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