Michael Bay diarrhea
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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