I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
