Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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