Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing