would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
