there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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