I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
