I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
